[Rin didn't really account for Keisuke, someone who was a little abnormally in touch with his own emotions despite how their world had deprogrammed a lot of them from stuff like that. But it was something that he had been dwelling on, something caught in his mind and digging into him periodically across the hours, the ones that he had spent in the classroom with Akira, waiting for the night to pass, and all the rest between then and now. Like always, he felt the need to apologize for his own shortcomings—even the ones he couldn't control, or perhaps only he perceived as being there at all.
Eventually he does rattle to a halt, though, looking at Rin with slightly misty eyes, drawn taut around the edges with pain and grief and guilt. He's hesitant at first, wary of what Rin might say, but—it's so strange to hear it out of someone's mouth, that it's not his fault. It's something he struggles actively to accept. It's always been his fault, his shortcomings, his mistakes. This place has helped him through some of that but not all of it.
All he ends up thinking is how—strong Rin is. He's gone through all of this, come back, and here he is, trying to make Keisuke feel better about it. It rolls right back around to make him feel guilty, that even in this he's being cared for. Something that would apparently repeat itself, even when Keisuke wished so much it wouldn't.
He doesn't feel like he's worth it. He probably never will.
He looks down, lips barely moving to give breath to,] you don't have to. [But he blinks, eyes fixing on their hands at the increased pressure there, stuck in the moment between breaths when Rin decides to relinquish him for just a second in exchange for wrapping his arms around Keisuke's chest.
He freezes—for a good, long second. His arms half-raised, suspended by his sides, eyes a bit wide and surprised. Keisuke's definitely not used to stuff like this, not with anyone. At first he's a bit panicked, unsure of what to do, but... it's comforting. The warm bloom of breath that he can feel as Rin laughs before speaking, continuing to fight to assuage his fears and doubts and guilt.
He's so unused to someone doing something like that for him. That's why he's unsure—for just a moment longer.
And then he, with just a touch of hesitation, returns the gesture, arms encircling around Rin's shoulders to hug him back. It's a bit ironic; Rin's small but deceptively strong, and, in opposition, strong-statured Keisuke's embrace is oddly gentle, as if softly handling something fragile. Not Rin, as he knows he guy can handle himself much better than he ever could, but... perhaps what Rin was offering to him.
His words are all tangled up in his throat, so all he can do is nod, the movement of his chin brushing past the crown of Rin's head. Hopefully he recognizes that.
A beat. A bit hoarsely:] ...Okay. [I'm sorry. A bit more solid:] Okay - I won't.
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Eventually he does rattle to a halt, though, looking at Rin with slightly misty eyes, drawn taut around the edges with pain and grief and guilt. He's hesitant at first, wary of what Rin might say, but—it's so strange to hear it out of someone's mouth, that it's not his fault. It's something he struggles actively to accept. It's always been his fault, his shortcomings, his mistakes. This place has helped him through some of that but not all of it.
All he ends up thinking is how—strong Rin is. He's gone through all of this, come back, and here he is, trying to make Keisuke feel better about it. It rolls right back around to make him feel guilty, that even in this he's being cared for. Something that would apparently repeat itself, even when Keisuke wished so much it wouldn't.
He doesn't feel like he's worth it. He probably never will.
He looks down, lips barely moving to give breath to,] you don't have to. [But he blinks, eyes fixing on their hands at the increased pressure there, stuck in the moment between breaths when Rin decides to relinquish him for just a second in exchange for wrapping his arms around Keisuke's chest.
He freezes—for a good, long second. His arms half-raised, suspended by his sides, eyes a bit wide and surprised. Keisuke's definitely not used to stuff like this, not with anyone. At first he's a bit panicked, unsure of what to do, but... it's comforting. The warm bloom of breath that he can feel as Rin laughs before speaking, continuing to fight to assuage his fears and doubts and guilt.
He's so unused to someone doing something like that for him. That's why he's unsure—for just a moment longer.
And then he, with just a touch of hesitation, returns the gesture, arms encircling around Rin's shoulders to hug him back. It's a bit ironic; Rin's small but deceptively strong, and, in opposition, strong-statured Keisuke's embrace is oddly gentle, as if softly handling something fragile. Not Rin, as he knows he guy can handle himself much better than he ever could, but... perhaps what Rin was offering to him.
His words are all tangled up in his throat, so all he can do is nod, the movement of his chin brushing past the crown of Rin's head. Hopefully he recognizes that.
A beat. A bit hoarsely:] ...Okay. [I'm sorry. A bit more solid:] Okay - I won't.
[I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.]